How To: Get Rejected for a Discover It Card In 15 Steps!

Step 01: Be twenty five and four months fresh into a semi-decent paying job.
Step 02: Have absolutely nothing in your name up until you turn twenty four.
Step 03: Own no property, stocks, or municipal bonds and have no legitimate savings.
Step 04: Be unsure of what a municipal bond even is and why it sounds like a city.

Step 05: Pay for everything up front in cash including your car, have no loans or debt.
Step 06: Be currently enrolled in a two year community college.
Step 07: Be single, independent, broke[ish] and without a co-signer.
Step 08: Pay your rent and all your bills on time–or not, it doesn’t seem to matter.
Step 09: Try back once you’ve been accepted into a four year institution.
Step 10: Consider fudging your income upon hearing that’s how your friend got approved.
Step 11: Decide against it, cos you’d feel guilty about lying to the Discover It card people.
Step 12: Reconsider after realizing you’re going to pay them 20% on all the money you borrow anyway, so really they’re benefitting from the lie.
Step 13: Reconsider reconsidering after realizing you’re going to have to pay them 20%
on all the money you borrow.
Step 14: Reconsider reconsidering reconsidering after realizing you’ll have 0% APR the
first 14 months, so it just might be worth it.. question mark[?]

Step 15: Lose track of what APR means: get headache.


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