Me: Hey guys, I noticed some snow in the middle of the driveway that I had to avoid when pulling in, when shoveling your cars out can you just be sure not to add any snow to the rest of the driveway? Thanks
Neighbor: I think you should keep to yourself and stop trying to inconvenience others.
Me: I don’t understand why you’re attacking me, I feel like it’s inconsiderate to push snow into the middle of the driveway where everyone else who lives here drives.
Neighbor: Hannah, please, just stop. I would have expected to see you out there shoveling if it were such an inconvenience to you. Having to maneuver a few inches to the side of two or three inches of snow is not. So basically you just decided to take time out of each of our days to complain. That’s why I’m kind of bothered.
Me: All I’m trying to do is be responsible, if you’d like from now on I can direct any future issues toward our landlord. Can you please respect the rest of us that live here? I’m not interested in arguing with you, I won’t text you again if that’s what you’d like.
Neighbor: no problem.
I tried not to argue and made a serious effort to be respectful while confronting the issue at hand and drawing boundaries. I didn’t ask for or expect him to understand my side or be reasonable. I didn’t bring up the facts that by smoking pot in the house [an illegal activity], leaving used kitty litter outside their back door [which is our main hallway], and shoveling snow from their space into the middle of the driveway that literally everyone else who lives in the house has to drive through are all grossly inconsiderate and inconveniencing actions, so really his attack is just a guilt ridden projection on me.. even though I really would have liked to argue semantics, but reasonable adult Hannah knows not only is it not worth it, it doesn’t go anywhere and it’s controlling to try and force others to be reasonable back.
It just really sucks that being consistently responsible just gets you “bitch status” especially when I’ve ended up [let myself] become the spokesman of a group who are comfortable not confronting the neighbors–which is fine for them, I just feel like I can’t not confront them because it’s not respecting myself or them.. especially if I’m pre-occupied by it or talking shit behind their backs. It hurts me to be misrepresented in another’s perception, *the doubt* comes and I start to feel crazy. I know it’s not the same, but it piles on and perforates my head and heart apart. Thank God for the reasonable, loving, patient, listening, encouraging beautiful souls that hear me and understand. I appreciate them all.