I’m so happy Yarn Squid has been so well received, a couple comments were really touching. It’s odd to have a stranger comment on your relationship with your best friend as “beautiful”, I’m glad I was able to convey it in an honest way. It is beautiful. And not in the way where it’s all easy and fun and adorable surrounded by the ultimate happiness or something. It’s raw and it hurts sometimes. In some ways my friendship with my best friend has been one of the most painful, but it has also been one of the most loving, accepting, kind, generous, challenging [in a good, but annoying way] relationships of my whole life.
All those negative emotions are really just signs that a boundary needs to be made, a past pain needs to be understood, validated and let go of, and a new choice can be implemented. All those things hurt, but they’re ultimately super positive. It took me like six years before I was even close to being just “okay,” which was all I was ever even hoping for. A measly “okay.” Now I’d even classify myself as happy. What a transformation. Without working through all that super shitty pain and losing my best friend for awhile I never would have been inspired to change my life–I wouldn’t have needed to. I could have just kept being subpar and dead on the inside.
But who wants to do that? Of course no one, but no one wants to be stabbed and bitten by snakes over and over again either.. and that’s pretty much how growth and emotional recovery feels if you’ve been avoiding feeling anything your whole life. But in the end you make a friend–or two or three–and they see you and love you and it’s all worth it. Life is about relationships, after all right? Feeling connected can cure your pain, but only after you feel it all the way through.. sorry, no easy outs or instant gratification [I’ve checked].
If I’m any indication [and I’m a hardcore avoider of all things painful] you’ll be alright in the end if you can trust in the idea that hope and happiness exist. And there’s always God.