How To: Want All the Things

I have anxiety about school being over, whether or not I’ll be accepted to my potential new school, whether or not it’s the right place to go, whether or not I should take out loans, whether or not I should look for a new job, whether or not I’m being practical, or if I should be more practical, or if I should stop being practical altogether, or run away, I’d really like to run away, like far away. I miss my friend who just moved across the country and I thought about following her there if my application is rejected.

I wouldn’t, because running isn’t the answer to anything, but I might leave for awhile. Get some space. I want to be alone and have all the attention of my friends simultaneously. I’m complicated and very afraid. What if all my decisions are the wrong ones? [then I’ll make new decisions] What if those are wrong? [then I’ll make other new decisions] What if every decision I ever make is wrong? [I don’t think that’s very likely.. comfort me, logic!]


10 thoughts on “How To: Want All the Things

    • Yeah, you like that do yah? I’ve been wishing my car was new and I had money and no responsibilities. I’d drive around, maybe end up in Portland for a while. Yeah, I’m super uncomfortable, and normally I’m comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, but this is different then other times. More of a risk. I guess that’s positive. I know that’s positive.


  1. Just follow your gut instincts and trust in yourself. Even if things don’t go as planned, well that is just life. Sometimes the unplanned takes you to new wonders that you never thought of.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I’m trying to remember all that. I usually don’t feel so uncomfortable making decisions, this just seems a particularly large one and the interim period is tough. I’m not particularly patient. Thanks for the advice, trusting yourself is always a safe bet. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What if: the world ended? you met the man of your dreams right when life was ready for both of you? California falls into the ocean? you win the lottery?

    What if; the weather was nice in Rochester, you simply go outside for the afternoon, enjoy life.

    Liked by 1 person

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