I have anxiety about school being over, whether or not I’ll be accepted to my potential new school, whether or not it’s the right place to go, whether or not I should take out loans, whether or not I should look for a new job, whether or not I’m being practical, or if I should be more practical, or if I should stop being practical altogether, or run away, I’d really like to run away, like far away. I miss my friend who just moved across the country and I thought about following her there if my application is rejected.
I wouldn’t, because running isn’t the answer to anything, but I might leave for awhile. Get some space. I want to be alone and have all the attention of my friends simultaneously. I’m complicated and very afraid. What if all my decisions are the wrong ones? [then I’ll make new decisions] What if those are wrong? [then I’ll make other new decisions] What if every decision I ever make is wrong? [I don’t think that’s very likely.. comfort me, logic!]