How to: Revel in The Joys of Editing

So I’m writing a memoir, right… and I have like 10,000 words, which feels awesome, because it seems super far along. The thing is, the majority of those words are from two or three years ago, and, let’s just say I’ve grown and developed as a writer a lot since then.

They’re dreadful. Like, absolutely unreadable, and I’m not just being critical or modest or any other modifier you can think of. They are, quite simply, bad.

To put it into perspective for you, Continue reading

Eating a Hot Dog on Independence Day says I’m a true American

Ya know, cos we’re all diabetic and dying early and shit. In my office there are a few overweight women, and I told them that the veterinarian said my dog was fat and to put him on a diet. The temperature dropped twenty degrees instantaneously. I didn’t realize that word wasn’t okay to say, even if it wasn’t about a human or in a harsh tone.

I guess it’s similar to a racial slur, or a female endearingly referring to her close friends as “sluts.” I suppose it doesn’t help that I am quite thin. I’m not a part of the group who can say that word and have it be un-offensive. Thin women have no insecurities and should keep their thin lips shut, glide past and concentrate on not being blown away by a breeze.

Surprisingly, I love Continue reading

The Abominable Bro-Man

If you know me or have been following this blog for any length of time, you know I don’t have close relationships with any of my family members. My kid brother and I are the closest, we all like him, in fact. He’s the main reason the rest of us see each other.

My sister thinks I’m an Continue reading

Hannah’s Back, Back Again [this time with 2x the snark!]

I got an alert on my phone that my stats were blowing up, which is remarkable given my MIA status for the past month. Three people love the shit out of this blog, they read 175 things. Either that, or they’re just really bored. It’s questionable.

I have weird feelings as of late. I have all this time since school’s out, but I feel tired all the time and just want to sleep/watch Friends on Netflix. [Which is actually kind of stressful for me, because Continue reading