How to: [Legit] Travel Backwards in Time

Do you have a moment you want to  XXXXX out of our memory bank forever? But time flows on ignorant, of your desire to change the past. Or does it? We perceive time as moving forward as an arrow, however we may just be bad at “seeing” time.

In Physics, time is the fourth, interconnected dimension [with the three dimensions already defined in space]. The problem is, we can’t see and move through time like we can see and move through space, even though they’re intertwined. So, if time is attached to space, and space is laid out for us to see and move through freely, it stands to reason that time is also laid out. Our optical receptors just blow at sensing it.

If you’d like to go back and blot out some regrets, there may be a [totally practical] way for you to live your life over. All you need to do is borrow a spaceship from NASA [or, ya know, build one of your own and heist some fuel] and rocket over to the nearest black hole–which happens to be at the middle of the Milky Way, a measly 27,000 light years away.

Now, assuming your rocket ship can travel faster than light [it can’t. Not near Earth Anyway], and you don’t die before you reach the center of our little solar system [you definitely will, there’s absolutely no hope of you making it whatsoever] you can pilot your little craft right into our galaxies’ very own black hole.

[Fun fact I: if your buddy also jacked a spaceship and was cruising along behind you while you made your way past the event horizon and into the black hole, but he waited to, ya know, make sure the coast was clear or whatever; he would actually never see you enter because the spacetime right before you enter stretches infinitely. So he’d probably think you were fucking with him all slow motion-y, when really you’ve crossed over into the dark.]

So now you’re in the black hole, awesome. Great decision making, seriously. Assuming you survive [You won’t. In fact you died like 435 billion years ago on your spaceship, but hey at least your littering contributed to the dark matter floating around up there. But lets say you made it, even though you definitely didn’t, it doesn’t matter anyway because black holes are like the trash compactors of the Universe; and if they can gobble up stars I’m not super confident about your life force past this point.], mathematicians have extrapolated their observable calculations past the swirly, garbage-laden accretion disc just above the event horizon and theorized that space and time swap places!

So there you have it! Here’s your totally achievable-y practical chance to go back and do it all over again! Never mind you’ll totally die before you get there, and also on your way in, traveling back in time is totally worth it! Right?

[Disclaimer: While it’s true you’d be physically changing your place in time and therefore your age, you’d still be stuck in a black hole forever, and that’s no fun. The space in which your time was spent aging isn’t in the black hole with you, so you can’t go back to the time that’s connected to the space where you fucked something up, or got fucked over. You’re just stuck in a black hole forever, unless the black hole separates you into particles and sprays you out of it’s jets, I suppose. I apologize if that was misleading and you’ve already made it in to the black hole. If I were you I’d make myself super old to die quicker, although that’s awful redundant of you because stars have literally formed and supernova-ed in the amount of time you’ve been dead. Let it go already, dude. Spend your life developing a fancy gadget that allows you to see time and move around in it, that’s a way better investment. I promise. You definitely won’t die before developing your spacetime position modulator. You could even go back and visit Einstein at the patent clerks office, I’m sure he’d be happy to set you up with the rights.]

[Fun fact II: I wrote this in lieu of completing my Physics homework. Note: If my Physics professor is reading this I did it after, the one article has Universes based on Krispy Kreme.–Also, in the word’s of @midnight: Points!]

photo credit: Softpedia